You know I believe and how: CBR III Review #10

Az’s CBR-III Review #11: Say Her Name by Francisco Goldman

Francisco Goldman’s first book, The Long Night of White Chickens remains to this day in my top 10 favorite books of all time. I was very excited to pick up his new book when I saw it in the library. This book blew me away, plain and simple. In his fifties, Goldman met a beautiful, talented young woman named Aura Estrada. He immediately fell in love. How could he not? And by some insane stroke of luck, she fell in love with him as well. The were together for four years, married for two. And then she died. She was thirty. It was a freak bodysurfing accident off the Pacific coast of Mexico. This book is Goldman’s way of bringing Aura back to life and he does so marvelously. He uses fragments from her diaries and short stories to reconstruct her early life, move seamlessly into a narration of his relationship with her and then takes us through the unbearable horror of her death and how he dealt with his grief and loss. This book hit home hard for me. Like Goldman, I too met the love of my life later in life. Like Goldman, I am older than my love. There’s a certain expectation there: that I will go first, that he will be the one to live without me. This was especially true with Goldman and his Aura given the 20-year difference between them. I cannot imagine losing my husband and having to survive without him. I don’t know how Goldman does it. This book is staggeringly beautiful. It is truly a labor of love as much as it is a gorgeous piece of writing. Goldman truly succeeds in his endeavor to bring Aura to life and every word of this book is a testament to the gloriously immense love they shared in the appallingly short time they had together. I honestly can’t recommend this book enough!

Take a sad song and make it better: CBR III Review #10

Az’s CBR-III Review #10: Your voice in my head by Emma Forrest

Emma Forrest is amazing. That is the main thing I took away from this book. Emma Forrest is nothing short of amazing. I believe it takes so much courage to face that your foibles and quirks have crossed the line from merely being capricious and fey to being destructive and potentially life threatening. That admission doesn’t come easily and, for most of us, never comes at all. So there is that. But Emma didn’t only make this admission, she sought help and then committed to healing herself. And that commitment takes even more strength and determination. I’m not trying to undermine the role of those people who assist in the healing – and God knows Emma had an extraordinary helper – but no one can be helped who can’t help himself. So what happens then, when out of the blue you lose that extraordinary person who helped put you back together and on top of that lose the one you love the most who had become your strongest supporter? If you are Emma Forrest, you survive. And you tell your story. And what a story it is: full of heartbreak, yes, but ultimately full of strength and determination. You go on. And you go on well. And that is why this story is extraordinary. And Emma Forrest? She is amazing.

The sun is up, the sky is blue; it’s beautiful and so are you: CBR III Review #9

Az’s CBR-III Review #9: Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty

Where to begin with Jessica Darling? Is it that she is smarter and wittier by far than most tenage heroines? Is it the level of angst? I don’t know. All I know is that I ripped through this book, laughing and crying as if I were 13 and not middle aged. This book is simply amazing. Okay, so Jessica Darling is the proverbial good girl with a bitter streak. Her father calls her “Notso” as in “not so Darling”. She is suffering from the loss of her best friend and soulmate Hope whose parents have moved her away following the death of Hope’s brother Heath from an overdose. Jessica is left adrift and lonely and even more bitter. How is she supposed to deal with her world when her only source of support is gone? Jessica must learn to navigate school – where she feels out of place- and home – where she feels even more out of place- by herself. Her only confidant is her journal and what she writes in it is by turns, mortifying, hilarious and poignant. And then there is Marcus Flutie… This book is a classic (not just a YA classic) for a reason: the dilemmas and heartaches of its heroine are universal and everyone will find something to which they can relate in it. I cannot wait to share this book with my daughter in a couple of years. It is just wonderful.

La-la how the life goes on: CBR III Review #8

Az’s CBR-III Review #8: The Castaways by Elin Hildebrand

The Castaways by Elin Hildebrand is another of those books I picked up after hearing from several people that I would love the author’s works. I had tried to read another of her books before without success so I approached this one with trepidation. Imagine my surprise when I could not put it down! The book deals with a group of friends who live on Nantucket and call themselves “the Castaways”. It’s made up of three married couples and their children. They are all seemingly very close friends. The book begins when one of the couples, whose marriage has been on the rocks due to infidelity, drowns during a sailing trip to celebrate their anniversary. Each of the remaining Castaways has to deal with his or her own grief, a grief that is marred by the many secrets and lies that  mark the couple’s relationships with their own spouses as well as those with the other members of the group. As well, there is the mystery of what exactly happened on that boat that caused these people to die. The result is a whopper of a page-turner in which none of the characters are totally likeable, yet you still care about what happens to them. It’s also an interesting analysis of how you can never really know someone no matter how close you think you are to them. Altogether a really interesting, engaging book, if a little off-putting at times. It’s touted as a beach read… I have to say that term is misleading… definitely not a beach read!

All the lonely people, where do they all come from: CBR III Review #7

Az’s CBR-III Review #7: The  last time I saw you by Elizabeth Berg

I’ve always had this fascination of how different events are remembered differently by the participants in said events or even by the same person at different times in that person’s life. How an event that is insignificant for one of its participants is life-altering for another. The Last Time I Saw You by Elizabeth Berg is a prime example of this phenomenon. The book addresses the events preceding and leading up to the 40th high school class reunion in Clear Springs. This makes it interesting because high school experiences are literally over half a life away and yet they continue to shape and define the characters in this novel. What’s especially wonderful about this book is that it does deal with the time-honored cliches: the jock whose life didn’t turn out like he expected, the nerd done good, the unpopular girl leading a happy life, the high school sweethearts who have remained together and are happy, the prettiest girl who didn’t get everything she wanted, the trio of mean girls who haven’t changed a bit… however, the genius of Elizabeth Berg is that she tweaks the cliches in unexpected ways. Also, Berg nails the anxiety and insecurity that arises when having to face any group of people you haven’t seen in a while, especially when there is something to prove.  This book is by turns hilarious, poignant and thought-provoking and a great, entertaining read. I read it in no time at all and was very sad to have it end. I then promptly re-read it and liked it even more. And that is always a wonderful thing.

Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it just to reach you: CBR III Review #6

Az’s CBR-III Review #6: Where she went by Gayle Forman

Where She Went is the sequel to If I Stay. This time, the story is told from the viewpoint of Adam, Mia’s boyfriend. Basically it travels the 3 years from when Mia woke up from her coma to the present. There were many unexpected developments in this sequel. I’m not planning to spoil any of them because all the discoveries made in this book are actually what propel the story along. I really have to tip my hat to Gayle Foreman for not turning this into your run-of-the-mill recovery from accident, love story plot. Another aspect of the book that I loved as well are the inclusion of Adam’s lyrics. What could have been a cliched sampling of teenage emotions actually reads as honest, bitter emotion… these lyrics are plausible. Yes, Adam is a tad emo, whiny and needy. And Mia is a little too well-adjusted at times. But this is a rarity among books: a wonderful, well written, well thought out sequel that is not only the perfect companion to its predecessor but also provides the perfect amount of closure and, the cherry on top of the sundae is that it doesn’t disappoint. Gayle Foreman has written another outstanding story. One last recommendation: bring a boxful of tissues, you are going to need them.

It took me so long to find out… but I found out: CBR-III Review # 5

Az’s CBR-III Review #5: Crystal Clear by Jane Heller

I resisted reading Jane Heller for the longest time. I had been told by several people that I’d love her books but could never get into them. Last week at the library I came across her newish book called Crystal Clear and decided to give Ms. Heller another shot. Crystal is an accountant in NYC with a lackluster life that revolves around her job. When a trio of crises – including the possibility of being fired – hits her, she decides to go to Sedona, AZ for a “mystical” vacation. There she encounters her long-gone ex-husband, gets into mischief with a mystery involving a vapid heiress and her hangers-on and finally experiences the epiphany necessary to turn her life around. The key to this is, of course, the long-lost ex. I didn’t hate his book but I didn’t love it either. I thought it was a serviceable plot that followed a time-honored formula. It wasn’t highly literate or intellectual, but I didn’t expect it to be. It kept me entertained for the hour or so that it took me to read it and honestly, that’s all I was after.

Within You, Without You: CBR-III Review #4

Az’s CBR-III Review #4: If I stay by Gayle Forman

I have recently become slightly obsessed with YA books and as a result ended up reading books that I would have probably missed. This would have been a shame, because these are some excellent books. One of the best is If I Stay.

The premise is simple: Mia is a gifted cello player, has a wonderful, quirky family  and a close best friend.  And there is Adam. Adam is the boyfriend, a rocker who seems to have nothing in common with Mia except for their love of music and of each other. There are also supporting players Mia’s best friend. Family friends. Grandparents. The emphasis on the beginning of the book is on how close the family is and how much they love each other. In one second, Mia’s life is shattered as there is a terrible car accident.  She finds herself on the side of the road looking at what remains of her family and of herself.

From this point on it’s all about choice, Mia’s corporeal body lies unconscious and mangled and her spirit must decide whether to go or stay. She knows that she is the only surviving member of her immediate family.  She also sees the reactions of her loved ones: friends, extended family,  even the hospital staff taking care of her. Her life is viewed through flashbacks which clearly illustrate who this girl is: she is a gifted musician, she loves her family, her friends and Adam.

I have to emphasize the role music plays in this book. it is an integral part of the story. I responded viscerally to this aspect because, to me, memories are frequently entwined with music and I loved how this was handled in the story, especially because both Mia and Adam are musicians. I also loved that despite Mia’s being a teenager, her life is never trivialized or diminished in any way.

If I Stay is one of those books that haunts  you long after the reading is done. The plot is both memorable and meaningful, it is really beautifully written and, although it can be sentimental, it is never maudlin nor hokey. All in all it is an unexpectedly satisfying read and those are the best ones: you don’t go in looking for it, but there it is.

Get back to where you once belonged: CBR III Review #3

Az’s CBR-III Review #3: High School Confidential by Jeremy Iversen

The premise of this book is simple: Then 24-year-old Jeremy Iverson posed as a high school senior at Mirador High in Southern California. He did everything a senior does; he even graduated. I keep reading that the book is an exposé but I don’t find anything shocking or controversial in it. Or anything I wasn’t aware of already. I don’t know if this is because I have actually taught high school myself or because fictional depictions of high school in movies and TV are so overly dramatic and scripted to shock, that a so-called every day account of the goings on in an actual high school is rendered insipid.

Another aspect of the book that was off-putting was the attitude of the author. He is very self-congratulatory and smug. I’m not surprised he fit in perfectly within the high school student body since he comes across as self-centered and immature. I also doubt his accuracy as I believe he took from his experience what he found to be most shocking or controversial. I get that. The man, after all, has a book to sell. But in doing so, I think he compromises what the book claims he set out to do: get an accurate portrayal of every day life in high.

The book fails on two levels: it is false advertising – this is not an every day high school experience. But it isn’t that shocking either. It’s a good read for what it is: I’ll give it that. (It’s telling that what I found most amusing was Mr. Iversen’s brief description of that dreadful Carpathian vampire series by Christine Feehan. Why do people recommend this series to me with high praise over and over? Yes, I like vampire smut but I couldn’t even get through the 1st book of this series. Sorry – I digress.)  But in the end, this book wasn’t what I was looking for when I picked it up. I mean, I wasn’t expecting a morality tale like Go Ask Alice, a fantasy like Sweet Valley High or even an inspirational tale like Stand by Me. But neither was I expecting, say, The OC lite. I guess if I want a more insightful, realistic account of what goes on in high school, I should do what I’ve been doing so far: keeping the lines of communication open with my offspring. Maybe what they tell me isn’t entirely accurate, but it is engaging and interesting.

Youve got to hide your love away: CBR-III Review #2

Az’s CBR-III Review #2: Love and Other Natural Disasters by Holly Shumas

The basis of this story is a thought-provoking question: Is a married man guilty of cheating after opening his heart to another woman via phone calls and emails for a year? It’s a great question: Exactly what constitutes betrayal? Does it have to be physical? Of course it’s okay for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex. If there is no physical contact, when does that friendship turn into something more?

On Thanksgiving, Eve is eight months pregnant with her second child. Her friends and family are over to celebrate the holiday. In the middle of dinner, she overhears her husband, Jon, talking on the phone in hushed, intimate tones. She discovers that he has been seeing another woman for over a year. The relationship isn’t physical, but emotional, conducted via emails and phone calls, although there is a sexual element to it.  Jon confesses that they did meet once, but he refused to sleep with Lainey, the other woman. Even so, Eve feels betrayed, and asks Jon to leave. She begins questioning her entire life, with thoughts of Jon’s affair tormenting her constantly especially after she snoops around and reads his emails – both the past ones to Lainey as well as current ones to other friends. She doesn’t like what she finds out, especially in terms of how she perceives Jon sees her. As well, she questions the motives for every single gesture and feeling that Jon has ever displayed towards her. She doubts that he ever really loved her at all. This is compounded by feelings left over from Eve’s difficult childhood.

This was a difficult read, not only because of the subject matter but also because, for me, Eve was a difficult character to like. My reactions to Jon’s betrayal and Eve’s response ran the gamut from thinking that her anger and bitterness were absolutely justified, to feeling that she was being cruel and petty as she consistently lashed out at Jon no matter what he did to try to make things right. It’s pretty clear that there were underlying issues in Jon and Eve’s marriage that led to the betrayal. Holly Shumas is a licensed marriage and family therapist and she makes it very clear about how there’s no use in trying to tackle the betrayal issue if all other problems aren’t faced as well. And that’s where I thought Eve became less sympathetic: she persisted in placing the blame solely on Jon even after she herself begins dating and sleeps with another man. She even feels that his anger when finding out she has been reading his emails isn’t completely justified. Eventually, she does realize that the conflict isn’t as one-sided as she thought it was. Yes, Jon was at fault. But so was she. This opens the door for them to go to counseling together and begin to reconcile. However, I did enjoy the supporting cast of characters, in particular Eve’s brother Charlie, who moves in with Eve to help with the kids and ends up having to face his own issues.

I actually put down the book I was originally planning to review and picked up Love and Other Natural Disasters instead. The story caught my attention because I feel it addresses a very timely issue: in this age of emails, and social networks it can be so easy to develop a certain amount of intimacy without any actual physical contact between people. It puts another perspective on what actually constitutes cheating, and that, in some cases, emotional attachments can be much more damaging than sexual indiscretions. Trust me, you will be thinking about this issue long after you put the book down. In the end, this novel is about marriage and self-awareness. It is also about taking the people who we love for granted and making assumptions that we know what it is that they are thinking and feeling as well as what they want from us and from life. But most of all, this book is about making the decision to love despite the difficulties that life may bring.